Don’t Put It Off. Procrastinate Now!

Here are just a few suggestions on how to procrastinate effectively. Remember, everybody’s doing it. If you want to stand out from the crowd, you’re going to have to invest a little time and imagination, develop your own style.  Here are a few tips that have worked for me.

  1. Carpe diem. Start that diet tomorrow. Or the next day. There will always be time to eat healthy later but the Shamrock shake won’t be around forever.

    Yum.

  2. Call your mother and talk for two hours. Every day. You can delay your entire To-do list this way. Unless it’s her birthday. Then you should wait until just before her bedtime to call.
  3. Leave your Christmas tree up until February. For those who appreciate a bolder statement, decorate it with hearts and cupids. Wait a month and change to shamrocks. Leave those up until Halloween.
  4. Choose a home improvement project. Begin and then leave it half-finished for a minimum of several months. Points for style if you leave the tools out.
  5. If the car starts making a new noise turn up the radio. Try not to take it to the mechanic until it drowns out the radio or stops running altogether.
  6. If you enjoy camping, be sure to put off taking the kids until well after those breezy springs days are past. If you wait long enough, you’ll get to spend 3 days in August sweating yourself into delirium and feeding your blood to mutant mosquitos drawn by the aroma of Deep Woods Off.
  7. Be sure to put off making dinner each evening until the children complain. This gives you the perfect excuse to pop a couple of frozen pizzas in the oven for a quick meal. Do this often enough and you’ll save money by cutting back on expensive fresh fruits, vegetables and meats.
  8. Are you experiencing pain in your back/neck/head/knee? Don’t rush off to the doctor. The additional damage that may occur to the offending joint or structural part was probably inevitable anyway. Better to wait until the pain is unbearable and then go in to get the bad news.
  9. Haven’t figured out what you want to be when you grow up? Don’t worry about it. You’re only 45. If you’re a truly dedicated procrastinator, you won’t have saved anything for retirement anyway. You’ll have plenty of time to start a new career.
  10. Starting a savings account for the kids is a laudable idea, but remember, the longer you wait, the less money you’ll have to put in it.
  11. If you’re a blogger, it’s a nice touch to start Monday’s post on Tuesday night or swap Monday and Thursday because Thursday’s is easier and then start the new Thursday post on Friday morning. Readers love it when you keep them guessing.
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14 Comments

  1. lyonsroarforgod

     /  March 21, 2012

    Hilarious! Thanks for getting my morning off to a good start, or wait, maybe I should laugh about this later, and save the good feelings for this afternoon. 🙂

    Lisa
    http://www.lisanlyons.com

    Reply
  2. Exactly 🙂 !

    Reply
  3. Brilliant – I’m printing this off and living by it!
    Thank you 😀

    Reply
  4. Loving your post – thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  5. I love the notion that blooming late could be a form of procrastination. That’s me. Also, your title is hysterical. Great post.
    Hugs,
    Kathy

    Reply
  6. I am an expert at Number 4. Once the project nears its completion, there’s no joy left in the task. Also, way to go to 11; Very Spinal Tapish.

    Reply
    • I have the attention span of a gnat. If I can’t finish it in a day, I often don’t finish at all. I had to look up the Spinal Tap reference. And yes, this goes to eleven (because I was too lazy to edit).

      Reply
  7. Hmmm, numbers 4 and 9 ring many bells. Well, I think they will. They’re procrastinators, too. Fun list.

    Reply
  8. Hee. Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.

    Reply

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